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"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."

by Steven Wright

"The library is the temple of learning, and learning has liberated more people than all the wars in history."

by Carl T. Rowan

"Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material."

by Cathy Guisewite

"I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope."

by Jerry Lewis

"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."

by Grandma Moses

This Day In History

St. Augustine: the oldest permanent European settlement in the US was founded (1565)

St. Augustine: the oldest permanent European settlement in the US was founded (1565)

Galveston Hurricane: made landfall; it was the deadliest natural disaster to strike the US to date (1900)

Galveston Hurricane: made landfall; it was the deadliest natural disaster to strike the US to date (1900)

Miss America: the annual pageant was first held in Atlantic City; 16-year-old Margaret Gorman of Washington DC was the first to be crowned (1921)

Miss America: the annual pageant was first held in Atlantic City; 16-year-old Margaret Gorman of Washington DC was the first to be crowned (1921)

Siege of Leningrad: nearly 2.5-year blockade of the city by the Germans in WWII began (1941)

Siege of Leningrad: nearly 2.5-year blockade of the city by the Germans in WWII began (1941)

Star Trek: TV series recounting the adventures of the starship Enterprise premiered (1966)

Star Trek: TV series recounting the adventures of the starship Enterprise premiered (1966)